So... at what point is it considered premature ejaculation? -
I love my boyfriend very much. And I would never leave him for shallow reasons like bad sex.But last night, after 2 minutes of foreplay, and 3 thrusts, it was over.
And that-s just about what it normally is.
He always just laughs, maybe because he-s embarassed.
But I honestly just want to cry.
It-s honestly not even worth the time and energy it takes to undress anymore.
Isn-t that premature ejaculation?
Can medicine help?
How can I bring the subject up without causing a huge ego-bruise?
Kinsey proved that slightly over 70% of men ejaculate within 2 minutes of penetration. That is the first fact that you need to get your mind around.
The second is that it is almost totally impossible for any male to satisfy any female through penile stimulation of the vagina alone.
So -- what do you have to do?
Well, if your interest is actually in both of you being sexually pleasured -- rather than some abstract and factually non-existent state of conjugal bliss where he lasts exactly long enough to somehow stimulate you to orgasm with his penis, and then he comes and you are both happy -- I suggest the following:
Talk to him about longer foreplay, tell him that you want to be close to him and to feel loved before intercourse -- therefore taking all the pressure off -- it isn-t about him, its about you -- and if he loves you he will want to please you.
Factually, women orgasm from fingers and tongues MUCH more easily than from penises. So what is important to your sexual pleasure is not how long it takes him to orgasm (3 thrusts is completely fine and he shouldn-t have to feel badly about that) but whether or not he helps you find orgasm. If the two of you engage in 20 minutes of foreplay instead of 2 - and he uses things besides his penis to stimulate you prior to penetrating -- then you will orgasm, and he can penetrate and orgasm -- and THEN, rather than feeling letdown, or saying nothing, it is important that you give him positive reinforcement -- tell him how wonderful the foreplay was, and how it got you ready to fully enjoy and appreciate his awesome (fill in appropriately upbuilding words here) penis and how much you love him and... you thus encourage him to repeat the foreplay the next time -- and you can get him WITHOUT WORDS AND HURTING HIM to the point where you both get sexually satisfied in a realistic and possible manner.
And congratulations on baby Joel -- I am sure he will complete the two of you as only a baby can.
That should do it.
Kind thoughts,
Hermes
It-s best to talk about things. I know for a fact that if I guy masturbates beforehand, they can go longer. Also if you use condoms then there-s some condoms by durex that increase the time little bit (personal experience). There is meds but I think he would have to get those perscribed. Good luck talking to him. Just mention it... he-ll feel better if you say it-s a common problem and that you just want to enjoy sex more. You could say it takes you a bit longer than him to reach the point of climax and that you-d appreciate it if he gets some meds or something.
You should definitely talk about it even though it will embarrass him a little. Tell him flat out that you are getting less interested in sex because you are not being pleased. Have him give you oral until you reach orgasm to make sure you are enjoying yourself. Tell him to take it slow and try to focus when you start having sex. Wearing a condom should also lower the sensation for him so maybe he can make it past 3 thrusts.
No matter what, You are gonna hurt him if you bring it up. My best suggestion is to lay it on him lightly and tell him how you really feel. Once he realizes it is and will affect the long term of your relationship, he should deal with it and go seek help if he is mature.It also depends on how open he normally is with you. Good luck. It-s going to be tough.
Yeah, that-s a bit quick.
He needs to practice on his own or even with you. And do kegels! That-s when he is peeing and stops it and holds it numerous times. Or even contracting the muscles during the day.
You just need to express that maybe your needs should be met first and then he can get his. Be nice about it and don-t make it seems like that HUGE of a problem in the beginning.
It also would depend on his age and experience. Younger, less experienced guys usually get there a lot quicker.
Hang in there, it-ll happen!
If its too soon for you, yes its premature. I have that same problem, 30 seconds to 1 minute, maybe 2 minutes tops. Also I-m kinda -small-.
What works best is giving her an orgasm as part of foreplay with oral! Doesn-t make it last longer but at least she gets satisfied.
Restrict sex more and more every day till you eventually don-t have any. Trust me if you control the relationship,he may get a sign that its just not working for you.
I know from experience that most girls have a lot of self control when it comes down to skipping sex.
man, what is he like 10? if you love him realy then dont worry about bad sex. not eveone is the same, some people take 30 mins to ***, others take 1 minute, itsnot a problem its just how you were developed.
demand more foreplay. can he ever go again? like with me the first ones always quick but then i go back to foreplay and after 10 or so mins im good for round 2 which always takes much longer. if all else fails buy a bob aka battery operated buddy
talk to him face to face.
in his case, better man to man.
but suggest viagra, it helps with premature ejaculation, and arousal problems
If it doesn-t last long enough for you to get satisfaction, then it-s P.E. Buy him a **** ring and have him use a condom... maybe two.
yup it seems to be
i think just talk to him, i don-t know if there-s medicine, but i guess he could -practice- like control or something... strengthen his muscles down there
Ask him if he has heard about if you wack off more you will last longer.
sometimes this happens to us the first time, but he can generally come back and it-s much better the second time