I need some help with delayed ejaculation.? -
Im 21 years old, met my girlfriend about 8 months ago, she was my first girlfirend and i love her to death. We waited about 3 months to first have sex, and i have not been able to ejaulate using her at all. I can *** in front of her, but not when she tries to do it via oral, hand, or intercourse. I used to masturbate A LOT, and feel that maybe i have destroyed my sensitivty. When i first started masturbating i couldnt go using my hand, i didn-t *** that way until i was about 17. We have been very frustrated and she thinks i don-t find her attractive, I-m afraid that this may be too much for us to handle and that she may leave me. I love her with all my heart and just want to give her what she wants and needs so badly. She has even gotten to the point of being mad at herself if she orgasms during sex. I need help, I feel so alone, and that I-m hurting her more and more each day. I want to marry her and have babies, but im starting to feel that I am just unable to give that to her. I just need someone to talk to that has experienced this before. Does anyone know of a way to just not put pressure on yourself, or to be able to relax or take my mind off it? Anybody, please im desperate.Prime the engine before you launch your rocket...
In other words go to the bathroom, before sex, masturbate to the point where you feel that you are about to orgasm, then go have sex with your girl.
You might try some male enhancement products. You can buy them pretty much at any health store or walgreen. They won-t make your penis bigger but it might enhance the overall sensation and improve your sex.
Alternatively, you might try drinking an energy drink like red bull prior to intercourse. caffeine is a stimulate and releases dopamine in the brain. This is your primary pleasure hormone and it can enhance sex to make it feel better and make it easier to climax.
Unless you really masturbated a lot, like 10 more times a day for several years, its not likely that you damaged your penis in any way. What you could do is just not masturbate or have sex for several days. This will help any loss of sensitivity to come back. Again, prime the engine before launch and you should be able to climax.
The reason you are not able to climax from any kind of sex with your girl is performance anxiety. No you-re not crazy. But when people are under pressure and expected to perform, they release stress hormones. These can ruin a man-s ability to orgasm during sex. If none of the other suggestions work, then its time to see a specialist who can help you over your anxiety.
PS if you had a narror urethra you-d have difficulty ejaculating period, not just from sex alone.
I think that you have narrow urethra and that-s the cause of your problems. It-s a common thing, matter of fact Hank Hill suffers from the exact same thing. I would go see a doctor about it.
Common Problem: Common Solution.
My first and I were together nearly a year and a half before he was able to get off during sex. It wasn-t that he didn-t love me, and it wasn-t that he didn-t find me attractive... there-s a lot of psychology to the background of this EXTREMELY common -problem-
It is a matter of experience, rhythm, partnership. If you love each other, you-ve got to let that be the guide. Right now she wants to please you, and she thinks that your orgasm is going to prove how sexually amazing she is... this places pressure on you to perform to validate her. Working under this kind of microscope where your orgasm determines the success or failure of your relationship can collapse the relationship because all the emphasis is being put in the wrong places.
It is important that she realize that controlling your body (being the -fault- or -cause- of your orgasm) is not at all proof that you think she is sexually or otherwise, the best thing to ever walk the earth. Street-walkers get plenty of jism, but they are not the best lays or most attractive people ever.
You both need to realize that great sex is not innate to each couple. Chemistry in the bedroom takes tons of experimentation. Place your focus on discovery, this will lead to mastery.
By the time this course in courtship has been mastered you will want greatly, and she will be relaxed providing both of you opportunity to enjoy the sex to follow without the desperate urgency.
When things get too stressed, flip the tables around, instead of you being the focus - put her body, her beauty on the pedestal for worship, and convince from her a climax... or several.
Allow yourselves the right to be naive, and educate each other lovingly, and you will go much further than you will by beating yourselves up (which is self abusive and counter productive to any good relationship).
Ask her to let you lead the next few dances, and see how it goes.