Delayed / retarded ejaculation? -
Hi there. I have a problem which is really getting me down now. When I am with a girl, particularly one I really like, I find that the only way I can come is through sex in the missionary position and even then it can take almost an hour of banging away before I come, leaving us both sore and exhausted. Oral sex or her masturbating me just doesnt work at all, but if I am alone and masturbate I can come no problem. Thing is, now my girlfriend is starting to think I dont like her. She-s not on the pill and if I have no condoms and we dont have sex then I end up with very painful balls. Have any of you had this problem before and is there any solution? It is really starting to depress me now. Please help.Are you talking any med-s? that can have something to do with it. How old are you, have you had your prostrate checked to see it it-s not enlarged?
You are probably very self conscious about it by now. Because you have started worrying about it, you become even more conscious of it every time you have sex making it more and more difficult to overcome, its a difficult cycle to break. Another thing is comfort, you need to be comfortable when having sex. I find that if I am uncomfortable and my leg muscles start to ache, it can be so off-putting. Even something as simple as an object on the bed that happens to touch a part of my body whilst having sex can totally put me off, I end up chucking it off the bed very swiftly if this happens.
Perhaps (and maybe you don-t want to hear this) but here goes---God is stopping you because this is sin. Is someone praying for you?
So my advice is to quit girl friends for now, and get right with God and find out his will for your life. It-s not an emergency for you to have good sex when you-re doing it outside of God-s will. God is perfectly able to heal you of anything and he will probably do that if you start obeying him instead of living in sin. -By his stripes we are healed.- Isa. 53:5
Sack L-s last comment was..... not really necessary. Your probably slightly nervous and thats causing you to hold back on -doing the deed-! Because you can ejaculate when your own your own you dont have a physical issue. discuss the issue with her and you may be able to adapt or try new things.
Talk to a doctor. This isn-t normal, especially if you say you like this girl. Although, it could be nerves. Or perhaps it is because of the condom that you are desensitized. Talk to your girlfriend. If it is serious, see if she will go on the pill (sprintec for 9 bucks).
The same thing happens to me, but I try not to go nuts about it. It seems like nerves are doing it for me, and, as frustrating as it is, it doesn-t represent a big problem... Just relax and go see a doctor if you-re really worried.
There-s nothin wrong with you. I just don-t think you-re totally into it, or, you-re simply being held back by some unknown force, which could just be a mental thing. You-ll be fine, it-s not one of the worse things I-ve heard about in these matters.
If you come ok with masterbation, then this girl obviously doesn-t turn you on enough. Lose her and get with someone who makes you nearly come your pants when you look at them.
You might even be gay. have you thought about that?
your not relaxed enough with your partner you must feel under pressure to perform ,best thing is take a weekend away in a nice hotel and when you are relaxed and stress free things will happen naturally
I think you are 100% normal because you sound like me sometimes. You don-t like condoms and she-s not on the pill so it-s like a mind trick you play on yourself that you don-t want the sex because it-s not the way you want it. You don-t want her to get preg. and that-s reason enough to get turned off a bit. She-s not a wiz at oral, or otherwise, but she-s hot and you start wondering if something is wrong with your compatibility, etc. There might be some truth there. Find another girl when she-s away, etc. and bang the hell out of her and see if it-s exponentially better or just slightly because it-s some strange... Good luck.
nerves can really cause problems. at first it likely happened because you were tense and nervous about being with her. then once it happens you are then nervous it will happen again and it sets up a cycle. it is called performance anxiety.
also masturbation might be part of the problem. men that masturbate often train thier bodies to react to only one type of stimulation. when you do it yourself you can direct the pace and pressure to get the results you want. where sex with another puts some control in your partner or the sensation thier body provides, which may not match what you have trained your body to do.
you should lay off the masturbation until you get this resolved. you may also put a drop of lube in the tip of the condom before putting it on. it will increase your sensation and may help.