Low self-confidence because premature ejaculation, who should I see? -
It-s terribly difficult for me to repel jokes/ribs at my expense because just below the surface is the underlying pain of knowing I have PE... it-s been a life long thing. It shouldn-t effect other areas of my life but it does.
The idea of meeting a girl I like is unsettling because the truth is I can-t just have good sex... or passionate sex at all.
Worsening the situation, there seems to be virtually no mention of the issue around the world. There was going to be a drug which was shot down by the FDA... Society generally laughs at it, and many women won-t stand for it.
You have rogue merchants selling creams, pills, and fools gold... many of which will reply to this thread. As experienced in the past, probably 90% of responses are from those.
I consider this affliction as serious as many major health issues, and one capable of causing severe depression.
Which type of doctor would you suggest I speak with for help? Sex therapist, general psychologist, other, etc?
In general, practice and relaxation will help you deal with the problem. Some men try to distract themselves by thinking non-sexual thoughts (such as naming baseball players and records) to avoid becoming excited too fast.
Some helpful techniques include the following:
The -stop and start- method:
This technique involves sexual stimulation until the man recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. The stimulation is then removed for about thirty seconds and then may be resumed. The sequence is repeated until ejaculation is desired, the final time allowing the stimulation to continue until ejaculation occurs.
The -squeeze- method:
This technique involves sexual stimulation until the man recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans meets the shaft) for several seconds, withholding further sexual stimulation for about 30 seconds, and then resuming stimulation. The sequence may be repeated by the person or couple until ejaculation is desired, the final time allowing the stimulation to continue until ejaculation occurs.
For self-esteem in general, consider reading one of these:
The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz
The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield - Mark Victor Hansen
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon
i think you should go see a sex doctor or a therapist. you shouldn-t get so down on that.
its ok first off, lots of guys have this issue. Someone asked that question on love line last night.... Start by seeing a General Doctor, tell him your problem. or see a urologist.
If neccesary, before you know your going to have sex, jerk off first, then maybe it will take you longer when your with your girl. and think of very unsexual unaurosing issues. you can also do alot of foreplay with the girl too. then she will think alot less of the whole PE thing.. Good Luck
You haven-t got no more of a problem than 99% of us had. When I was young we called it the -hair shot-. Believe me, it-s typical. And especially with a girl that you are attracted to, the one you want to please the most. Two things that cause this, first is mental. You get yourself so worked up and before you know it, there she blows. Keep your mind on other things best you can. Second is friction while you are making out and during foreplay. This one is easy to avoid, just don-t rub it on nothing. Masturbate before sex if you have to, this helps also. You can go to a Doctor, but I don-t think it will do you any good.
you are right...PE can be a very frustrating condition for you and your partner ...and it seems that each time it happens it makes it likely to happen again ...because its in the back of your mind. ....Most guys have this problem due to anxiety issues rather than because of any physical ones .....Very young guys experience this as they first begin sexual activity with a partner... but soon learn that controlling release makes the act better for both people and it ends on its own ....If you-re not 16 and this is happening , you are probably stressed by issues like pleasing your partner, size concerns , hang ups about sex in general ...or whatever else it might be that is clouding your ability to enjoy the sex act beyond a minute or two ... check out www.intelihealth.com where there is a separate page covering PE written by The Harvard Medical School staff ....read the whole page as it is pretty informative about this anxiety-based problem .....