Fast Ejaculation Is Ruining My Perfect Relationship!? -
I have dated my boyfriend for 3 years and we constantly struggle with his -problem-. I love him dearly, and fear that our troublesome sex life is going to ruin our relationship. I get NO pleasure out of intimacy, it is near impossible to becuase of the irregularity as well as the fact that he has a 100% track record for coming within 30 seconds. I know it tears at his self esteem, so I try to not make such a big deal out of it, but imagine not having an orgasm in 3 years...it is increasingly difficult. I now find myself completely turned off by him because intimately he doesn-t do it for me at all.
My question is does anyone have any advice? He has seen a doctor but didn-t pursue any options-the doctor told him nothing
(I could kill the doctor-he totally scared him from ever going back!). Viagra wouldn-t be a solution because he has no problem getting it up/staying up--the problem is controlling his orgasm. Prescriptions, positions, diet tricks ANYTHING PLEASE HELP!
One possible solution is to encourage him to go oral. I know some guys shy away from that, but many guys are willing to go that route, knowing what it does for the woman.
If he-s willing to go that route, then intercourse would just be one way to have sex and not the main way.
Some guys are able to last longer with a condom. It may reduce the sensitivity for you, but it might pay off if he can last longer.
Just don-t do the 2 condoms. The friction can actually burn microscopic holes in the condom and thus, take away its purpose of birth control.
help him to clear the first round, his second round can give the ohm!
Premature Ejaculation (PE) is a common problem in men. There are exercises that you can use together to reduce the problem. There are also exercises he can try to help.
One of the oldest methods is for him to practice relaxing the muscles in his legs before he feels he is about to climax. These contract as part of the ejaculation. He can work on this on his own during masturbation. He should be able to relax the muscles by angling his feet down, or bending his legs, but encourage him to experiment.
You can also help him by extended foreplay. Gently massage his penis and have him tell you when he feels he is close - then stop all contact. Have him try to relax his muscles at the same time. Gradually you should be able to extend the period before he ejaculates.
I would certainly try another doctor, and ask for a referral to a sex therapist that is familiar with the treatment of PE.
Okay for an update:
1. We are getting married, I do love him dearly and dont want their to be hidden frustrations below the surface. Please don-t insult the integrity of our relationship in your answer, I find that offensive. If you are married you will understand that it is possible to love someone dearly but still have a -problem (for lack of a better word) with some things. Hell, that is the basis of a marriage-if you can still love someone dearly despite their inperfections you-ve got something going on!!
2. He is AWESOME at oral, however I need a little more than that...I want to seek options to enhance our sex, not find ways around sex
3.We are by no means -inept-. I find that offensive as well-we are not 15 years old--we are grown adults looking for practical advice since he has gone to one doctor and my doctor as well gave us unpractical advice.
4.I should re-iterate that we are not 15 and have tried MANY ways so telling us to use a condom is pretty mute at this point...I am looking for answers that go beyong the normal things-defintely have been there at this point!!
And Lastly, If you are going to respond with something saying -Just Deal With It- you have obviously either not dealt with this first hand, or still have a 1920-s outlook on a woman-s significance with sex and I do not appreciate nor need your feedback.
That said, please answer away! I am really interested in what other males out there think about this. My boyfriend and I are VERY in tune with each other and EXTEREMELY honest. When this is discussed I tread very light around the subject as I am terrified of destroying his sense of manhood.esteem.
Go see a different doctor, jeez. Most responsible urologists take this as a very serious problem--there-s lots that can be done: drugs, physical techniques, etc. Other thoughts:
1. You can only have an orgasm through penetration? Weird. Sounds like you guys are pretty inept. Teach him to use his hands and tongue.
2. Try wearing a condom (or two) for the time being.
3. Have him insert for 10 seconds, pull out, and stop. Repeat.
4. Have him masturbate several times during the day before inserting it. This usually increases the time it takes to finish.
5. Have him down a few drinks before: this won-t help the erectility but it should slow him down. That may be enough to get him over the hump (pun intended).
6. Good luck.
I dated a guy for 2 years that had the same problem and he was very embarrassed about it, but I loved him and told him that it wasn-t a big deal, sometimes we did it twice just so i could get off. U just need to learn to deal with it. Good Luck!
if you -love him dearly- then he would be perfect in your eyes. i mean, he did try to solve the problem, and obviously it just didn-t work out. if you-re desperate of having an orgasm, why not just go masturbate? (after asking him if you could, don-t want him to take it the wrong way when you-re caught)