Sex advice for premature ejaculation? -
So i just started having sex 3 months ago. I have a problem though in that I ejaculate way too early. Upon intercourse, touching or rubbing I can-t last more than 5 minutes. How can I last longer? How can I help her to orgasm? We are both pretty unexperienced. She is unfomfortable with me giving her oral but is sometimes ok with rubbing and fingering. Can anybody give a good reference for advice? Thanks.
From personal experience, I can tell you with conviction that the best and most efficient method to forestalling ejaculation is through this technique I will tell you.
Just 30 seconds before you feel like exploding, tell your partner to hold the HEAD (or glans penis) of your penis this way: her thumb on the soft, smooth side of your penis (just a little above its neck) and her forefinger and middle finger on the underside of the head. Then tell her to SQUEEZE it, but not so quickly as to hurt you. GENTLY but FIRMLY.
That will take the wind out of your sails, so to speak. (You will feel your spunk -going back- to where it-s coming from.)
Remain still for a minute or two. (No humping or rubbing you down there.) You can alternately try kissing and fondling your partner while she holds your dick-s head and giving it The Squeeze. After a while you will feel that you are ready to start again, thereby prolonging the intimacy long enough for your partner to reach orgasm.
Try to practice this on your own next time you masturbate. You will then see for yourself what squeeze technique will work for you and for how long. Enjoy the moment when you finally explode!
Most men experience premature ejaculation at least once in their lives. Often adolescents and young men experience -premature- ejaculation during their first sexual encounters, but eventually learn ejaculatory control.
Try this exercise....
After you achieve an erection, stop stimulating yourself until you begin to lose your erection; at that point, begin to stimulate yourself again. Gradually, over a period of several weeks, you should be able to stimulate yourself for longer periods of time, eventually gaining ejaculatory control.
In order for this technique to be successful, you should avoid feeling discouraged if you ejaculates rapidly; instead, you should use your sexual responses to learn how to vary the technique in a way that most benefit yourself.
This is also known as the stop-start technique.
Masturbate more. The more you understand your body, the easier it is to control it. If you masturbate, you are less likely to ejaculate early. Also, for your partner, clitoral stimulation is the easiest way for a female to reach orgasm. Be comfortable, the more pressure you both feel, the less satisfaction you will receive.
from what i understand its something you have to build up. sex therapists will tell you to -test yourself- by masturbating under different conditions, starting and stopping etc. and working up how long you can last. it always helps to masturbate before you have sex, thats a sure fire way to last longer. i would encourage your gf to work with herself too, to find out what sensations she likes, and then she can tell you. a position that yields a lot of orgasms for women is doggy style.
Premature Ejaculation occurs when your body produces too much hormone too fast. Your body becomes -over stimulated-. The head of the penis becomes so sensitive that you ejaculate almost immediately. There is absolutely no control.
This Extreme Sensitivity on the head of your penis causes the ejaculatory mechanism, inside your body, to go into -spasms-. It-s these spasms that cause the overpowering Urge to Ejaculate. The head of your penis becomes so sensitive and the urge is so strong that you ejaculate immediately.
If you slow down the production of excess hormone - you slow down the ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation
Premature Ejaculation Can Ruin a Relationship.
Premature ejaculation occurs when you ejaculate too quickly and without control. It occurs before or shortly after penetration. Premature ejaculation interferes with the sexual pleasure of both you and your partner. It causes feelings of guilt,embarrassment, frustration, and depression. Premature ejaculation will cause stress in even the healthiest relationship.
The Cause of Severe Premature Ejaculation.
1. Extreme levels of arousal caused by the overproduction of sex hormones. Simply stated - Hormones control -everything- that happens during a sexual performance - from the erection to the ejaculation!
A normal ejaculation occurs when sexual excitement triggers glands, located inside your body, to begin a slow release of chemicals (hormones) into your blood stream. The slow release of these hormones tells your brain to gently stimulate the nerves at the glans (head of your penis). As you become more and more sexually excited, your body produces more and more of these hormones. The sensitivity becomes greater and greater until you reach the point at which time you ejaculate. Under normal circumstances the production of hormone is gradual and a man has the ability to control the sensations of sex.
Premature Ejaculation occurs when your body produces too much hormone too fast. Your body becomes -over stimulated-. The head of the penis becomes so sensitive that you ejaculate almost immediately. There is absolutely no control.
This Extreme Sensitivity on the head of your penis causes the ejaculatory mechanism, inside your body, to go into -spasms-. It-s these spasms that cause the overpowering Urge to Ejaculate. The head of your penis becomes so sensitive and the urge is so strong that you ejaculate immediately.
If you slow down the production of excess hormone - you slow down the ejaculation.
In fact, there-s NO product, exercise, or technique that can stop severe premature ejaculation when used alone. NONE! Severe premature ejaculation is an extremely complex condition the causes of premature ejaculation are both physical and psychological. To cure premature ejaculation requires a combination of products that simultaneously attack and eliminate each cause. Only Last-Longer has a combination of products strong enough to eliminate ALL aspects of both the physical and psychological causes of premature ejaculation.
Quite often, when a man gains good ejaculatory control, he suddenly becomes much more interested in sex. And even if he doesn-t, it might be nicer for both of you if he lasted longer.
Faced with involuntary ejaculation, most men try to distract themselves during intercourse, believing that by thinking about other things, they can trick themselves into lasting longer. Usually, that only makes things worse.
Don-t tune out your body. TUNE INTO IT. You need to become more familiar with your different levels of sexual arousal. You also need to recognize how you feel as you approach your point of ejaculatory inevitability, the -point of no return.- Once you recognize how you feel close to your point of no return, it-s not difficult to make small sexual adjustments that allow you to remain highly aroused without ejaculating.
Sexual arousal is a four-phase process. In the Excitement Phase, breathing deepens and erection begins. In the Plateau Stage, erection becomes full and you feel highly aroused. When arousal builds to a certain point, the next phase occurs, Orgasm with Ejaculation. Then during the Resolution Phase, breathing returns to normal and erection subsides. The key to ejaculatory control is to extend the Plateau Phase, to maintain arousal without triggering Orgasm and Ejaculation.
To learn ejaculatory control:
* Don-t use drugs or alcohol. They-re distracting and they interfere with the self-awareness crucial to learning ejaculatory control.
* Appreciate whole-body sensuality. Men often think sex happens only in the penis and only during intercourse. That view is a one-way ticket to uncontrolled ejaculation (not to mention erection problems, and women with those proverbial headaches). The best sex involves head-to-toe arousal. Men learning how to approach -- but not arrive at -- their point of no return, need to appreciate whole-body sensuality, the pleasure potential in every square inch of the body. Whole-body sensuality releases tension. Tense bodies that have no other outlet often find release through involuntary ejaculation. But as you learn to appreciate sensual pleasure from head to toe, whole-body arousal takes the pressure off your penis, and you last longer.
* Whole-body sensuality means relaxation, but the -relaxation- involved in great sex is not the kind that includes an easy chair, a six pack, and Monday Night Football. It-s the kind you feel after a hot bath or a good massage. In fact, bathing or showering together before lovemaking can help men relax and appreciate whole-body sensuality -- and last longer.
* Breathe deeply. One very easy way to stay relaxed while making love is to breathe deeply. The body has a natural tendency to breathe deeply during sex. But many men fight it. They think they should stay in control by not breathing deeply and making the little love-moan sounds that go along with it. But when men work to control their breathing, they often sacrifice ejaculatory control. Try breathing deeply. Let your breath go. Many men are amazed how much this one little change improves their ejaculatory control.
* Start with masturbation with a dry hand. By varying how you caress your penis, you can learn to stay highly aroused for quite a while without coming. When you feel yourself approaching your point of no return, simply back off a bit, strokestroke yourself more gently or not at all, and stay aroused without ejaculating. Then as you feel yourself getting a little distance from your point of no return, return to more vigorous self-stimulation. Repeat this several times over several sessions. Approach your point of no return, then back off. For most men, it doesn-t take long to develop good ejaculatory control while alone.
Then move on to masturbation with a lubricated hand. Use saliva, vegetable oil, or a commercial sexual lubricant. For most people, lubricants increase the sensual intensity of erotic fondling. Follow the same program: Masturbate until you approach your point of no return, then back off. Repeat this several times over several sessions.
* Once you have good control during masturbation, and appreciate whole-body sensuality, and feel comfortable breathing deeply during lovemaking, then you-re ready for the couples program -- if you-re in a couple. The couple approach is called the -Stop-Start Technique.- First, arrange -stop- and -start- signals with your lover, for example, a light pinch or tap, or a tug on an ear.
Then, your lover strokes your penis by hand as you lie still. When you approach your point of no return, give the -stop- signal. Your lover immediately stops stroking you and simply holds your penis gently, as you continue to breathe deeply and pays close attention to the sensations you-re feeling. When you no longer feels close to ejaculation, gives the -start- signal, and your lover begins stroking you again. How many stops and starts should you do? A half-dozen over a 15-minute period works well for most couples. Do what feels comfortable for you.
With stop-start, the focus is on the man. He-s the one learning the new skill. But don-t forget the woman-s sensual needs. As part of each practice session, she might guide your hand over her to show you what she likes.
Once you-ve gained good ejaculatory control with your lover-s hand, try the same stop-start procedure with oral caresses. Again, you begin by lying still.
Once you-ve gained good control orally, feel free to start moving. You-re making love again -- but now you have ejaculatory control. Congratulations.
Here are some other suggestions for lasting longer:
* The man-on-top (missionary) position can be fun, but it-s harder for most men to control their ejaculatory timing, because they have to hold themselves up. Try making love with the woman on top. This position is more relaxing for men, and it often helps ejaculatory control.
* Make some noise. Love moans help men (and women) relax, and they often help men last longer.
* It-s important to understand that learning ejaculatory control takes time and practice. You may feel a little awkward along the way. Try to maintain a sense of humor about any accidental spills.
* Some penile skin creams advertise that they help a man last longer. These products contain topical anesthetics that dull sensation in the penis. If you like to play with penile sensation, there-s no harm in using them. But they-re not a good idea for learning to last longer. They dull sensation. But the key to lasting longer is for the man to become more familiar with what he feels so he can back off from his point of no return while still remaining highly aroused.
* Finally, the program we recommend for learning ejaculatory control is very likely to provide your lover with greater sexual enjoyment--but not just because you last longer. Women generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented sensuality that includes the genitals but is not limited to them. Women-s main complaints about men-s sexual style are that it-s too rushed, too mechanical, too eager for intercourse, and that it focuses only on the breasts and genitals. Women generally feel that the whole body is a sensual playground, and can-t understand why so many men explore only a few corners of it. Like women, penises generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented lovemaking. The rushed, penis-centered, intercourse-fixated sex style puts a lot of pressure on the penis, and leads to premature ejaculation. But when men make love the way women prefer, whole-body arousal takes the pressure off your penis and you last longer. Basically, if men would make love the way women prefer, women would have fewer complaints, and men would have fewer sex problems.
don-t smoke, exercise regularly,and have lots of foreplay before rushing in and in time like everyone else u will get better at controlling ejaculation.
Don-t worry about it you just started. as the time pass you will learn how to control your self a little better, not saying that you will be able to go all night but it will get better,and as for her she will get into it as time passes.